I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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