the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
