I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
try to milk me bitch
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
