i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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