I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
