I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
