I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize