Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
