i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
