hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize