I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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