i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
