did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
