I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize