just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I believe in your delicious
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
