I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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