You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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