The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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