i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
