you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
