Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
