She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
