Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
