I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
