I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
