Yo dont text me then not text me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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