Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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