I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
