Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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