Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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