oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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