How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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