Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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