Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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