i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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