my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize