you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he fucked my hip out of place.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
