just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize