I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
