We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
