I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
