what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
