Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
