Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
