careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
