How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
