i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
