So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
