at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
