You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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