You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
