I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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