you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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