Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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