well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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