1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
