Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize