took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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