she was so not down for the gang bang
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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