You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
